Freshers is coming around reeeeeal fast and there’s a lot of baes gearing up to go to uni.
Sure, staying up til 4 in the morning playing Sims and eating chicken nuggets for every meal are all part of the experience but the main part!? The people.
Consider this your handy guide to surviving the whirlwind that is university.
The Posh One
How to spot: If they’re a boy, they’re going to be wearing brightly coloured trousers with a cardigan. What is it with posh boys and bright trousers!? They have fancy accents and talk about which school they went to, what grades they got at A Level, and their horse which they had to leave behind to come to uni.
Pros: Living with them means lurpak instead of cheap spread from the corner shop, and toast is LIFE so no complaints there.
Cons: They will dominate the uni ski society. Oh, and they’ll probably need teaching how to use the microwave.
The Mega Lad
How to spot: Basically anyone who over uses aftershave, flirts with anything with a heartbeat, and looks like they were on a night out with the Geordie Shore cast and got lost.
Pros: Gets totally smashed, forgets they’re skint and buys the rounds.
Cons: Says ‘banter’ like 48 times a day. Is excessively loud.
The Phantom Flatmate
How to spot: Well er.. you don’t.
Pros: Less people to deal with on a daily basis. Never around to control what’s on the TV.
Cons: You’re a little bit concerned that they might be a serial killer.
The Slob
How to spot: Chances are they have toothpaste on their shirt. If you ever pop into their room to ask something you will probably have to wade through knee deep piles of clothes and empty crisp packets.
Pros: They probably won’t notice if you steal their food.
Cons: They’re messy AF.
Girl Gone Wild
How to spot: She’s reveling in having her freedom away from her parents, says YES to every party, and busts some SRSLY questionable moves on a night out.
Pros: You will always have someone to go out with.
Cons: She’s mildly terrifying.
Gap Year Bore
How to spot: They will describe themselves as ‘a bit of a free spirit’. They probably play guitar at flat parties and (if they’re a boy) almost definitely have a soul patch.
Pros: Actually mildly entertaining when there’s nothing on Netflix and you’re trying to stay in and save money.
Cons: Tells the same story about visiting an elephant sanctuary in Bali like FOUR HUNDRED TIMES. Zzzzzzz.
The Preachy One
How to spot: They are always wearing something your Mum would approve of, and they’re super kind and thoughtful.
Pros: They can take you to a place where you get FREE toasties..
Cons: … but you do have to listen to a speech about religion. Sorry bae, fashion is our religion.
The Instant Couple
How to spot them: Barack & Michelle, Posh & Becks, Kim & Kanye.. whatever you wanna call ’em this pair are INSEPERABLE
Pros: You might potentially get invited to their wedding and weddings mean free food
Cons: They come as a pair, so don’t go thinkin’ you can have a girls night out without loverboy tagging along.