How Many Times Can You Hook Up With A Past Hook Up?
Wiki defines hookup culture as ‘one that accepts and encourages casual sexual encounters without necessarily including emotional bonding or long-term commitment’.
But how many times can you hook up with the same person without catching feelings?
Here’s the good news, there isn’t one magic number till you have to call it quits. The bad news? You should probably put in some regulations to keep that hookup from going from casual to complicated.
Don’t Hook Up With An Ex
Roping in an ex as a hookup is a one-way train to an emotional minefield. Past feelings make things all the more awkward and girl, life is too short to go back to the same old guy when there’s a whole host of potentials out there. The risk of being dick-matised and slipping back into old habits is just too high. A casual hook up should be liberating and empowering, not stressful and confusing.
Lay Down Some Ground Rules
It’s easy to enter a hookup situation going “I don’t want commitment” but the minute you start getting it on the oxytocin starts flowing. Try to limit PDA and remember just because you’re hooking up with someone doesn’t mean anyone else is off limits. Unless you were friends to begin with Dave from Tinder doesn’t need to meet the fam or attend the highlights of your social calendar. Figure out exactly what you both want beforehand and set boundaries in place so there are no crossed wires.
Don’t Expect The Most
Don’t believe the romcoms sis, the likelihood of a dreamy Justin Timberlake lookalike suddenly falling head over heels for you is pretty slim. And if that’s the goal a casual hook up probably isn’t for you. You’re not romantic lovers, so don’t expect paid-for dinner dates, weekly visits and luxury gifts.
Equally, Don’t Do The Most
Pick-me behaviour is unacceptable in a casual hookup scenario (and in general, come on hun – get it together.) You really don’t need to be cooking your hookup buddy meals, buying expensive lingerie to surprise him and moulding your interests to match his. If you’re doing any of the above it’s time to accept that you’ve caught the dreaded feelings.. but what now?
Know When You’re Catching Feelings
Getting jel? Checking his social media religiously? Time to re-assess the situ. Now, I’m not saying that the chance of your casual hookup developing into something more isn’t possible, but you have to understand that when you both have an arrangement that was supposed to be purely sex your partner usually won’t want anything more. Speak up and speak out, if your hook up partner isn’t looking for anything more – lock it off. If you continue to shack up you will only get hurt.
The Most Important Thing? Have Fun!
I mean sure, one of you might catch feelings that may lead to an awkward conversation you’d rather not have, but in the meantime, live in the moment and live your best life. It’s too short to worry.