Ah, Christmas. The season of goodwill, joy, and all things sparkly. Oh, and everybody’s favourite holiday event – the office party. If you’re a seasoned professional at these things, you’re the lucky ones. If you’re a newbie? This post is for you. Here’s all the types of people you’ll find at an office party, and how to spot them. You can thank us later.
The Terrible Dancer
..And we mean terrible. Like my Nan could do better, that’s the level of terrible we’re talking.
How to spot: They’re in the very middle of the dancefloor, ensuring all cheesy disco lights are shining directly upon them and their awful skills. They’re probably doing the funky chicken.
The Wannabe Mariah Carey
Babe give it up already. We’re ALL Mariah Carey come Christmas time, you’re not the only one that wants to belt out the hits.
How to spot: If there’s a karaoke machine, they will be glued to it all night. There will be a LOT of hair flicking. Whatever you do, do NOT encourage this person.
The One Who Gets Absolutely Sh*tfaced
Believe me, I’m a total lightweight but I know my limits (literally one glass of wine LOL). This colleague acts as if they’ve never seen a free bar before. I’m all up for a good time, but when your partner has to come and pick you up (off the FLOOR), it ain’t a good look.
How to spot: They go through the drunk stages v quickly. We’re talking life of the party, to corpse on the floor in less than half an hour.
The One Who Tries To Buy Everybody Drinks
Dude, STOP. It’s just creepy that you don’t talk to any of us all year and now you wanna buy us drinks. Plus, it’s a FREE BAR. Yikes.
How to spot: They’ll mostly likely be doing the casual ‘leaning on the bar with one arm’ pose. They will be trying their chances with literally every female to grace the party. Oh, and they will make SO many mistletoe jokes. It’s not happening hun, put that mistletoe back in your pocket and step down.
The Secret Party Animal
The quiet unassuming colleague who you always nod and smile at by the copier? Oh yeah, she’s wild. All offices have a secret party animal. Debbie, we’re looking at you.
How to spot: Ya girl’s probably grinding up on some poor unsuspecting IT guy. Chances are there is a small crowd of colleagues gathering around her getting that all important footage.
One thing’s for sure.. we’re looking forward to Monday.
