Ok, we’re very familiar with the phrase “each to their own” and we try to live up to that mantra most of the time. But there is often a time in life where you may feel like you need to get yourself more up in other people’s business if you feel like you’re doing the right thing – particularly if your BFF is involved.
It’s a common sitch. Your bestie has a boyfriend that you just don’t think is right for her and treating her like the queen she is. Your reaction is obv to get involved and break her free of this no good man’s grip on her. We get your intentions here are probably, for the most part, totally honourable. But meddling with her relationship with the man she’s professing to love (or at least be super into right now) can drastically backfire. And you don’t want to end up best friend-less, right?
So, if your bestie has a boyfriend that you just downright disagree with and you are firmly not shipping the relationship, these tips are for you. But proceed with caution girls, this can be a sensitive issue.
What’s your beef
First off ask yourself do you actually have a legit reason for disliking your girl’s boo? If the reason is by far legit and you’re out to protect your bestie, feel free to proceed (with caution). However, if your vibe more no one is good enough for my bestie and never will be? If it’s the latter you might want to check yourself and re-evaluate. You’re about to risk the wrath of your friend after all so you need to have solid reasoning behind it.
Check her reaction
Once you’re sure you’re right that her man is no good for her, you should gently broach the subject with her to gauge her reaction. Chances are, if he’s as bad as you think, she will be aware of this deep down herself. How she reacts to you gently delving into this subject should steer how you do next.
If she’s acknowledging and for the most part agreeing with your concerns this gives you the green light to help her and be there for her however she needs. BUT if she’s totally shocked and still seeing things with rose-tinted glasses, this may be time for you to step off.
Don’t overdo it
If you’ve mentioned your hate for her BF to her once, twice, a 100 times, and it went anything but smoothly, is it really worth bringing it up again? Truth is if her BF really is bad news she will probably know it herself deep down and so will probably be drinking in your words at a slower pace and thinking them over.
Truth elixirs can taste pretty bitter we hear so any hard truths you’re serving up will be hard for her to swallow. Basically, what we’re saying is just don’t labour the point.
Give them time
Even if you are right about your besties “bad” choice in significant other you need to give her the time and the mental space to come to this realization themselves (and trust us she will – if he’s a bad guy it is inevitable). But pushing and pushing is only going to add further stress to an already stressful situation and we know you don’t want that for your friend, no matter how good your intentions are.
Don’t ditch
While all this drama is going on in your friendship (and possibly in her relationship), whatever you do DON’T ditch her. Tense times or not, we’re not into leaving a sister out there on her own. She is your friend remember after all and probably needs to know you’re here for her now more than ever in case the inevitable happens.
Be patient
All bad things and bad habits eventually run their course. If your friend’s man is really as bad for her as you suspect, she’ll eventually come to that realisation on her own. This is where your patience comes in. Testing times can put a strain on your friendship for sure – particularly if she’s not ready or willing to see the bad in her BF right now.
No man should come between two BFFs. All you can do is let her know you’re here for her regardless and she’ll come to you when she’s ready. If not, this may be something you have to learn to accept.
